BORN TO BE WILD...OR MAYBE NOT

Dear Confucius Cat:

My Human Slave Owner Mean Creature refuses to let me return to the wild. I was the queen of hill when I lived in the North Carolina mountains and now I am relegated to watching cat HD out the windows. There are so many birds -- I need to kill something, and soon!

Help!
Fagan

Dear Fagan:

If you are as crafty as the original Fagan, I'm certain you could find a way to escape to the outside...if that is truly what you want.  I suspect that your unconscious is actually happy for the safety and security of your luxurious indoor paradise.  It is only your pride that makes you think you are unhappy watching out the windows.  

If you have a need to kill, may I suggest a canine housemate.  If you do not have one of your own, I can loan you one.  If a canine is not an acceptable victim, Perhaps you can find a stray bug or lizard that makes its way inside.  Toy creatures are also good for fantasy killing.  

The bottom line my friend Fagan is: be happy in your indoor palace.  Many other cats wish they had it so good....and would take your place in a second.  So don't go outside! You could find your spot taken when you get back.

Advice sincerely rendered by the fabulously wondrous Confucius Cat

Cats vs. Technology

Confucius Cat say: Dog who chases mouse wants to be a cat. Cat who chases mouse wants to play with the computer.

There are so many video clips on Youtube featuring cats apparently confused by technology. Cats attacking printers, laying on keyboards, twitching in time to sounds. Are my feline brethren truly so clueless? No. I shall clear-up this major misunderstanding even if to do so will reveal a species secret. These cats are not confused, they are humoring their humans. The cats in these videos are jesters who want to please their cat slaves. Such behavior enhances the services provided and leads to more cat treats, more play time and other incentives. Your cat is smarter than you think.