Cat Flag Signals

Lately I've been studying flags - Cat flags. You know what I mean. A cat's flag is his tail. 

Some cat flags are sleek, with short hair and a point at the end. Some are curled into the shape of question marks or internet punctuation. Mine is luxuriously, lusciously full of long poofy hair and makes the tail look thicker than my leg.

Then there is flag position. The cat flag can fly at full mast...as when I am proudly striding through my domain, surveying all, controlling all. The cat flag may also be completely lowered as when the cat is watching but has not yet spotted anything of interest. The lowered flag begins to twitch and swish in a kind of morse code that says: "I've spotted prey...leave me alone." Then there is the half mast position of full out running as the cat dashes through its territory chasing prey....or nothing at all

To summarize, Confucius Cat say: you can tell the tale of a cat by its tail.

Old friends, new friends and missing friends.

Confucius Cat say: Life without friends isn't living.  This was never more true than now when my cat slave (best friend and mommy all rolled into one) went away.  I'm not sure where she went. Something about a conference...whatever that is.  All I know is that she's gone.

Of course, my good friend (and my one of my saviors), lets call her T, is here to take care of the essentials: food, water, play...and of course love.  So, I can't really say I AM deprived. I just feel deprived.  Besides, if I admit I'm well taken care of, my mommy won't feel guilty when she comes back.

So to compensate for my loneliness, I'm spending a lot of time on Facebook making new cyber cat friends around the world.  I must say it is fun conversing with French cats, British cats, Italian cats, Serbian cats.... and can't forget the American cats.  Facebook, twitter, blogs.  The new ways technology provides to give us (even cats) opportunity to make new friends.  

And one can never have too many friends.  

A HAIRBALL IN TIME SAVES NINE...OR AT LEAST THREE

Last night I coughed up a hairball.  I didn’t quite get the laugh riot effect of puss-n-boots in Shrek 2.  Instead, my stomach was kind of hurt from all the yaking.  Plus, I don’t think my cat slave was happy when she stepped on the slimy, furry, amalgam I left for on the tread of the last stair.  

She didn’t realize that the placement was multi-purpose.  Leaving the hairball in an obvious to location: (1) eased clean-up—no petrified hairball discovery in a few months (they can look suspiciously like dead mice), and (2) My slave is alerted that I am in need of brushing more often so my coat is more shiny, and (3) I get more cat treats since they have hairball preventative inside.  Mmmmmm, cat treats.

So with one hairball I hit a trifecta. 

Confucius cat say: Coughing up a hairball is like a bet in Las Vegas after an all-you-can-eat buffet.  If the bet is well placed, it yields big dividends. If its not, your left with nothing but an aching tummy.   

SEVERE WEATHER CAUSES A STORM

Whenever the wind whips up and rain starts falling like little hammers on my house, the National Weather Service adds to the upset by a panicky storm warning.  First comes the brakish noise of the siren bell (apparently meant to make us pay attention to the television screen) and if that doesn't freak out me and my canine housemate, then comes the scary mechanical man voice and his announcement that we should be freaked out because there's a storm (or a tornado coming). 

I realize this is all probably some plan by the humans to protect each other, but to me it just makes the disruption of a storm worse and more scary.  If my human doesn't hurry and mute the television when one of these announcements comes on, the canine quivers and I have to jump off my comfortable sofa and hide underneath.  Can't these humans find a way to improve a storm instead of make it worse?

Confucius cat say: responding to a problem with panic is like seeding the clouds in a storm.  But responding with calm is like putting up an umbrella.   And the calm part will lead to more cat kisses from your baby.  

CAT HABITS

Today I'm congratulating myself on being a verrrrrry smart cat.  My cat slave has been hopping all day long: cleaning my litter box, feeding me (two different selections), offering up pounce treats (mmmmm, pounce treats), and dangling a play-toy over my head until I got tired and decided to lay in the sun.  All in all, I think my selection of human was extremely well done.  Plus, I sure do love her.  

So today Confucius Cat say to humans: Choose a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.  To cats: Choose a human who'll love you and you'll never have to work a day of your nine lives.

POLITICAL PAWPRINTS

Most of the time my cat slave is very good about keeping my house quiet and warm (or cool depending on the season) so that my sleep is not interrupted unnecessarily.  But on occasion, noise breaks out when my cat slave shouts at the television about something called politics...which apparently involve tea. 

What does tea.....Never mind.  I digress. 

The anger of the cat slave not only interrupts sleep but can interrupt cat services.  So I've been pondering the issue of politics.  From what I can tell there are lots of people who disagree about a lot of things and some of them believe and act pretty stupidly in support of their politics.  None of them seem to be able to convince each other of anything.  Logic seems to have very little to do with it.   In the world of the cat, it all seems fairly silly.  

My advice to all you humans is stop arguing about politics.  Go home and stroke your cats. Throw in some oogly love words and some cat treats. There now, doesn't all that cat love feel better than fighting about tea?