Sleep Deprivation Experiments

I have recently conducted a number of sleep deprivation studies on a human subject....my mummy a.k.a. the cat slave.

Night one

Methods utilized: 

*  Light nosebump to the cheek.

* Paw applied with slight pressure to the nose.

* Pretending to dig a hole in the sheets.

* Chasing imaginary bug around room.

* Climbing drapes.

* Using main stairway as racetrack.

Time intervals:

Every thirty minutes beginning at 2 a.m.

Results:

Awakening the human at thirty minute intervals prompt food service to the cat but not much stroking or nuzzling. Human seems agitated and exhibits a distinct reduction in "sense of humor" levels for next 24 hours.

Night two

Methods utilized:  Knocking items off the bedside table.

Time intervals: hourly

Results: 

There is an inverse relationship between the hour of the a.m. and the number of items the cat must knock off the bedside table to awaken the human subject:

7 a.m. 1

6 a.m. 2

5 a.m. 4

4 a.m. 8

3 a.m. 16 

Nose tapping the lampshade twice with the nose can substitute for knocking off one item.

Human subject is even more humorless. Threatening talk elicited.  Threats include tossing cat from room and locking door....however human subject did not take action.

Conclusions:

Confucius Cat say: sleep deprivation not only makes a human cranky but may also dangerous to the health...of the cat that keeps waking them up.  Use techniques sparingly for maximum effect.