Flashback-PTKSD

Lately, I've been particularly touchy about the front door. Whenever it opens, or is about to open from the inside, I run as far and as fast as I can...up the stairs, to the kitchen, under the sofa. All places I know will prevent me from ending up outside after that door closes again.

Why do I have such a fear of the outside...no...fear of going outside. I think it's post traumatic kitty stress disorder. I have flashbacks to when, as a tiny kitten, I was thrown with my sister Pieface into the wilds of South Carolina to live in a tree knoll at the Old Sheldon Church Cemetery. The memory isn't clear. All I know for sure is that I was cold, wet, hungry, and in danger from the wild animals and from the cars zipping past on the nearby street. I'm not certain how long we were there, Pieface and I, living on bugs in that tree knoll until I spotted my mummy and my aunt. I came out of hiding and stood at the gate of the cemetery. In the spot pictured above.

There was just something about my mummy.... I knew right away she was mine. It took her a lot longer to succumb to my wiles. I wanted to go with them right then, but my sister Pieface urged me not to. She was a lot more afraid of people and - let's be honest- more capable of surviving on her own in the wild. So we ran from mummy and Aunt Jacqui. Later, Aunt Jacqui came back with Tana (now one of our bestest friends in the whole world). It was Tana who managed to grab me first and then the faster moving Pieface. And Tana still has the scar on her thigh from Pieface's bite to show as a souvenir.

My mummy dotes on me. To her I am the sweetest, most handsome cat in the whole world, but still....when that door opens I become afraid that I'll somehow end up outside and in the world I knew before mummy and before my cushy housebound existence. I get all the food, water, toys, temperature control, soft sheets and LOVE a cat could want. Old Sheldon Church cemetery is beautiful....but to me my home is the most wonderful place in the world.

Confucius Cat say: No thing or place can be as wonderful as a home where you are loved.

Thanks 4 the Purrs in 4

12:03 p.m. Stop purring.  Thank you one and all for your participation. The list is growing so fast and long that I’m finding it impossible to list everyone. But I want to extend particular thanks to: 

Mogliavelli Lickorish in Hereford (U.K.); PersianKittyCat in Australia; Kant De BoisleDuc in Canada; Kitkat in South Africa; Emacs G in Utah (U.S.); Stella and Virgil in Denver (U.S.); Bas Tet Sab;  Carlzy Hutchings in London (U.K.); Feria Chan in Hong Kong (China); Mara Beštija and her family in Serbia; Luke Screenwalker in Iowa (U.S.); Neko Blue Russian in Venezuela; Mousie Kitteh in Hamilton (New Zealand); Shenaenae Reilly Portland, Oregon (U.S.); Joey Fritsch in Minnesota (U.S.), Lisa Monzon’s cats in Colorado (U.S.); The Island Cats in Michigan (U.S.); Four Kitties from the Our family cat blog in Michigan (U.S.); Sanjee and the rest of the Hotties in the U.S.; Figaro the therapy cat in Indiana (U.S.); Dominik Tanguay (honorary cat) in Montreal (Canada); Connie Pitts family in the California and Arizona(U.S.); Funnybunny in the U.S.; Busby (Bee Chilly and Tiki Tallulah Belle in the U.S.; Kirsten Chappell’s cats (@bdgrlaw) in Wash D.C. (U.S.); MedusaJ in Liverpool, (U.K.); Orpheus Rochester, NY (U.S.); Bec Thompson’s 4 cats in Sydney (Australia); Ladycat3 in Wisconsin (U.S.); Indy the Tiger in N. California (U.S.); Loki (@orangecatblue); Mozart Dane (honorary cat) in Ohio (U.S.); Hans (@hanseebundee)(honorary cat); Norwood (@norwoodsworld) (honorary cat) in Maine (U.S.); Donna Thompson (@beaglelover1200) in Delaware U.S.); Mac and Fuzcat in Missouri (U.S.); Bruce the cat in Florida (U.S.); Gabby’s cats West Coast (U.S.);George Crow in London (U.K.), Talley Martin in Wisconsin (U.S.)  The cats of Mary La Ferlita in Italy (Orsetta& Linda), Diamond and Saphire in Minnesota (U.S.); Mew McKay in Canada; Renoir Fausti Vallerignani in Italy; Arsène Le Pépère in France, Campbell Chat-Pouik in France, Marie-Cat Harbec.Also, to Bigpuss Crow purring from heaven.

Thanks are also extended to new participants Fernando Guisti in Italy; Liz Toms in Michigan (U.S.);Willi Mccluney in Canada; Pughy in Castleford (U.K.); Miss Peach in Washington State (U.S.); Emmythecat in the U.K.; Zelda the Lab (honorary cat) in Virginia (U.S.); Soile Suntinen, Finland; Sam and Andy from the I love Cats blog;

@ownedbyacat in the U.S.; kutie cat in the Phillipines, Allumette de Paris in France and Gucci Gorgeous in U.K.

You are all fantastic!

Please continue to purr when you feel the urge this week  I hope to see you all next week. I know this is a commitment but the goal is worthwhile. Purr On!

Peace * Paix * Frieden * Vrede * Pace * Paz

Purrs 4 Peace- Week 3- PURR IT ON!

Welcome to Project Purrs 4 Peace: Week 3

This week with the loss of icons of the entertainment industry, many are sad. These deaths inspire compassion for the lost and their loved ones. But it is important to note that these deaths also make many feel their own mortality more profoundly.  We realize that the time we are granted to live and make our dreams come true is limited and precious. Each day is important. Each day is a day to take a step forward on the path to our goals.

Today we take another step forward on the path to peace. By joining together with our purring we evidence that each of us believes Peace is a worthy goal. That we believe Peace can happen in our lifetimes. Today we our living our dream.

11:59 A.M.  Get READY  to purr. 

SET. 

12:00 P.M.  Confucius Cat say: GO!

Purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrinnnnnnnggggggg.

Imagine the Peace radiating out from you and into the world.

Purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrinnnnnnnggggggg.

Your goals are made real. Peace is made real.

Purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrinnnnnnnggggggg.

Super Caterday

Today is Super Caterday!

You cats out there might say: "Confucius. Every day is a super day for cats." And you would be right. But only Saturday has the advantage of being a day when most humans are off work and can putter about the house lingering on your every move, every cute expression. They are there to fulfill your every need and wish. If you're entertaining enough they won't even go out for errands.

Sunday just isn't as good. Sure, most humans don't go to work on Sunday.  But they tend to want to linger in bed. Read the paper. Sure you can enjoy cuddling with them on the bed but they aren't up and about catering to you, you, YOU. Then a lot of them go off to church and where are you? (That was rhetorical. I know your left at home and don't go to church.) 

So enjoy Super Caterday. Put on your cape, strap on your jet pack and fly.

Purr on my cat people!

Project Purrs 4 Peace Week 3

The sound and vibration of resonating purrs can bring about an end to violence in this world. 

Project Purrs for Peace calls for simultaneous purring for three minutes, once weekly for 52 weeks.

Week 2 of Project Purrs 4 Peace on June 21, 2009 was a fantastic event.  Cats (and honorary cats) from the U.S., Canada, U.K, France, Italy, Venezuela, Australia, New Zealand and China took part. It was particularly important because we purred in honor of our friend Bigpuss Crow. 

• Week three's appointed time is Sunday, June 28, 2009.
  
• Participants should purr for three minutes commencing at Noon. EDT (U.S.) which is 5:00 p.m. (17:00 hrs.) BST in the U.K.
• The cat’s human staff should assist their cats with the project by stroking and nuzzling the cat at the appointed time. 
• Please post your cat name and the country you purr in at www.confuciuscat.blogspot.com  as a COMMENT if you are participating in this historic project. (posting a link to your own website-if you have one-is encouraged.)
• Last week many (including yours truly) posted their purrs during the event on their facebook pages and on twitter. This is encouraged, since it inspires purring in others, but not required.  

Spread the meow to all your cat friends. One year of simultaneous purring.  World peace through the greatness that is catness.

Peace * Paix * Frieden * Vrede * Pace * Paz

Sleep Deprivation Experiments

I have recently conducted a number of sleep deprivation studies on a human subject....my mummy a.k.a. the cat slave.

Night one

Methods utilized: 

*  Light nosebump to the cheek.

* Paw applied with slight pressure to the nose.

* Pretending to dig a hole in the sheets.

* Chasing imaginary bug around room.

* Climbing drapes.

* Using main stairway as racetrack.

Time intervals:

Every thirty minutes beginning at 2 a.m.

Results:

Awakening the human at thirty minute intervals prompt food service to the cat but not much stroking or nuzzling. Human seems agitated and exhibits a distinct reduction in "sense of humor" levels for next 24 hours.

Night two

Methods utilized:  Knocking items off the bedside table.

Time intervals: hourly

Results: 

There is an inverse relationship between the hour of the a.m. and the number of items the cat must knock off the bedside table to awaken the human subject:

7 a.m. 1

6 a.m. 2

5 a.m. 4

4 a.m. 8

3 a.m. 16 

Nose tapping the lampshade twice with the nose can substitute for knocking off one item.

Human subject is even more humorless. Threatening talk elicited.  Threats include tossing cat from room and locking door....however human subject did not take action.

Conclusions:

Confucius Cat say: sleep deprivation not only makes a human cranky but may also dangerous to the health...of the cat that keeps waking them up.  Use techniques sparingly for maximum effect.

ProjecT PURRS FOR PEACE- Thank you! - Week 2

3:03 p.m. Stop purring....if you want to.

On this second week of the Purrs for Peace project, it may not seem so, but I believe the purrs of all of our participating cats and honorary cats are creating the atmosphere of calm and love this world needs.  The opposite of hate is love. The opposite of violence is calm. Peace is the confluence of love and calm. Thank you all. In particular I want to thank the following: 

Mogliavelli Lickorish in Hereford (U.K.); PersianKittyCat in Australia; Kant De BoisleDuc in Canada; Kitkat in South Africa; Emacs G in Utah (U.S.); Stella and Virgil in Denver (U.S.); Bas Tet Sab;  Carlzy Hutchings in London (U.K.); Feria Chan in Hong Kong (China); Mara Beštija and her family in Serbia; Luke Screenwalker in Iowa (U.S.); Neko Blue Russian in Venezuela; Mousie Kitteh in Hamilton (New Zealand); Shenaenae Reilly Portland, Oregon (U.S.); Joey Fritsch in Minnesota (U.S.), Lisa Monzon’s cats in Colorado (U.S.); The Island Cats in Michigan (U.S.); Four Kitties from the Our family cat blog in Michigan (U.S.); Sanjee and the rest of the Hotties in the U.S.; Figaro the therapy cat in Indiana (U.S.); Dominik Tanguay (honorary cat) in Montreal (Canada); Connie Pitts family in the California and Arizona(U.S.); Funnybunny in the U.S.; Busby (Bee Chilly and Tiki Tallulah Belle in the U.S.; Kirsten Chappell’s cats (@bdgrlaw) in Wash D.C. (U.S.); MedusaJ in Liverpool, (U.K.); Orpheus Rochester, NY (U.S.); Bec Thompson’s 4 cats in Sydney (Australia); Ladycat3 in Wisconsin (U.S.); Indy the Tiger in N. California (U.S.); Loki (@orangecatblue); Mozart Dane (honorary cat) in Ohio (U.S.); Hans (@hanseebundee)(honorary cat); Norwood (@norwoodsworld) (honorary cat) in Maine (U.S.); Donna Thompson (@beaglelover1200) in Delaware U.S.); Mac and Fuzcat in Missouri (U.S.); Bruce the cat in Florida (U.S.); Gabby’s cats West Coast (U.S.); George Crow in Ramsgate (U.K.), Talley Martin in Wisconsin (U.S.); Morris in the U.S.; and last but not least Bigpuss Crow.

More thanks to the cats of Mary La Ferlita in Italy, Diamond and Saphire in Minnesota (U.S.); Mew McKay in Canada; Renoir Fausti Vallerignani in Italy; Arsène Le Pépère in France, Campbell Chat-Pouik in France.  If I have missed anyone please forgive me.  I very much appreciate each and every purr. My luv to you all.

Peace * Paix * Frieden * Vrede * Pace * Paz

Purrs 4 Peace- Week 2- Let the Purrs Begin

Today our Purrs for Peace are dedicated to our special friend Bigpuss Crow, Ramsgate in the U.K.  We love you and we will miss you.

Love defeats hate, calm quells violence. Peace is the confluence of love with calm. Lets bring on the peace. 

2:59 P.M.  Get READY  to purr. SET. Feel the rumble. 3:00 P.M.  

Confucius Cat say: GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr.....

Concentrate on sending peaceful vibrations into the world.

Purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr......

To Iran and the middle east

Purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr.....

To the Korean peninsula

Purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, .........

 

To Africa

Purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr.....

to the South America

Purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr.....

To North America

Purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr.....

See the calm and peace fill the world.

Purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrrr, purrrr, purrrr, purrrrr, purrrr.....

International Box Day

Confucius Cat celebrates International Box Day

Cat Flag Signals

Lately I've been studying flags - Cat flags. You know what I mean. A cat's flag is his tail. 

Some cat flags are sleek, with short hair and a point at the end. Some are curled into the shape of question marks or internet punctuation. Mine is luxuriously, lusciously full of long poofy hair and makes the tail look thicker than my leg.

Then there is flag position. The cat flag can fly at full mast...as when I am proudly striding through my domain, surveying all, controlling all. The cat flag may also be completely lowered as when the cat is watching but has not yet spotted anything of interest. The lowered flag begins to twitch and swish in a kind of morse code that says: "I've spotted prey...leave me alone." Then there is the half mast position of full out running as the cat dashes through its territory chasing prey....or nothing at all

To summarize, Confucius Cat say: you can tell the tale of a cat by its tail.

PROJECT PURRS FOR PEACE-Week Two Announcement

Last week Confucius Cat announced PROJECT PURRS FOR PEACE. Simultaneous purring for three minutes, once weekly, for 52 weeks or until world peace breaks out...whichever is first.

Week One: June 14, 2009 at 6:00 p.m. EDT (U.S.) - What a success. Cats from the United States, United Kingdom, Norway, the Netherlands, France and Serbia took part and purred. We felt the peace spread, but from the news its clear it is not worldwide. So here are the details for Week Two:

• Week two's appointed time is Sunday, June 21, 2009.
• Participants should purr for three minutes commencing at 3:00 p.m. EDT (U.S.) which is 8:00 p.m. (20:00 hrs.) BST in the U.K.
• The cat’s human staff should assist their cats with the project by stroking and nuzzling the cat at the appointed time. 
• Please post your cat name and the country you purr in at www.confuciuscat.blogspot.com  as a COMMENT if you are participating in this historic project. (posting a link to your own website-if you have one-is encouraged.)
• Last week many (including yours truly) posted their purrs during the event on their facebook pages and on twitter. This is encouraged, since it inspires purring in others, but not required.  

Spread the meow to all your cat friends. One year of simultaneous purring.  Surely if we give it our all we can achieve Peace in the world through the greatness of Cat.  

Peace * Paix * Frieden * Vrede * Pace * Paz

PROJECT PURRS FOR PEACE- Thank you!

6:03 p.m. Plus 1 second.   STOP! if you want to.

Give yourselves a round of pawplause!!!!!!!!!

A profound thank you to all cats - and humans- who participated in the first week of the project. I can already FEEL the increase of PEACE in the world.  Your continued participation would be appreciated. Let's keep the momentum going.  Next week 3:00 p.m. EST U.S. or 8:00 p.m. in the UK (2000 hrs BST).

Particular thanks to the following participants: Mogliavelli Lickorish in the U.K.; Maria Anna in the Netherlands; Elvis Fieksnes in Norway; Maximilliano, Michaelangelo Iddechi, Isilya Yavie in St. Paul, Minnesota: Funnybunny in the U.S.: Busby (Bee Chilly) and Tiki Tallulah Belle in the U.S.: Chabichou Libis in France; Snickersthelazycat from Texas; Carlzy Hutchings in the U.K.; and Agatha and Pieface Mason, in the U.S; Arsène Le Pépère in France.

Peace * Paix * Frieden * Vrede * Pace * Paz

PROJECT PURRS FOR PEACE = The Purrs begin.

5:59 p.m. EST - Get your purrs ready.   Set.  6:00 p.m. Confucius Cat say: GO!!!!!

Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, 

Feel the calm. Feel the Peace. It's spreading.

Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrrr, Purrrrr, Purrrrrr, 

Peace * Paix * Frieden * Vrede * Pace * Paz

PROJECT PURRS FOR PEACE

Headline:  Peace breaks out...attributed to simultaneous purring of cats worldwide.  What if this really was an actual headline in newspapers and news broadcasts in every country?

It occurs to Confucius Cat that humans have been unable to achieve world peace on their own. Why? Most people would say that they desire peace...certainly I often hear beauty queen contestants profess as much.  And since cats are the TRUE beauty queens and kings, it is only right that cats take matters into their own paws.  

All have observed -no doubt- the instant calming effect inspired by the purring of we cats. Thus, Confucius Cat announces PROJECT PURRS FOR PEACE.  Simultaneous purring, for three minutes, once weekly, for 52 weeks.

• Confucius Cat will post the date and time weekly. The first appointed time is Sunday, June 14, 2009.
• Participants should purr for three minutes commencing at 6:00 p.m. EST (U.S.)
• The cat’s human staff should assist their cats with the project by stroking and nuzzling the cat at the appointed time. 
• Please post your cat name and the country you purr in at www.confuciuscat.blogspot.com  as a COMMENT if you are participating in this historic project. (posting a link to your own website-if you have one-is encouraged.)

Spread the meow to all your cat friends. One year of simultaneous purring.  Surely if we give it our all we can achieve Peace in the world through the greatness of Cat.  

Peace * Paix * Frieden * Vrede * Pace * Paz

Movie Review - My Life in Ruins

My Life in Ruins, a light-hearted romantic comedy, doesn't qualify as the summer blockbuster Confucius Cat is famous for reviewing. However, I loved My Big Fat Greek Wedding, so I thought I would enjoy it...and I was right. 

The plot in which the main character is "trapped" in Greece as a tour guide is a bit predictable. But Nia Vardalos, the star, is cute and funny and there are a lot of laughs. My mummy says that the jokes about the tourists hit very close to home as to some of the foreign bus tours she's taken. Plus the scenery is gorgeous.  And the romantic interest is suitably hunky...for a human.  

My main problem with the movie was in the comedic confidant character Irv, played by Richard Dreyfuss.  Come on movie people. Can't you think of a new type of confidant. The typical are: young gay man, snarky young girl, and crotchety-but funny-old man or woman. Irv fits into the last category.  

The movie could have been so much better with a completely unexpected and  non-stereotypical confidant like....a talking cat. Yeah. That's the ticket. A cat can improve any movie. For example, Shrek 2 was much better than Shrek because of the Puss n Boots character.  

I urge everyone to write to the Hollywood studios. Demand better entertainment for your dollar. Demand a wisecracking cat in every movie....we'll work on television later. 

 

My Life in Ruins-without the cat-gets two 1/2 meows.

Wait or Weight: Advice to Pierre

Dear Confucius Cat,

Do I need a health care plan? According to my owners, I'm a large cat. They do this thing where they decide I weigh 18.5 pounds. Is that too much? I consider myself big-boned for a cat, but I am a Maine Coon after all. I get some exercise but my owner has recently started putting cod liver oil in my food. It smells awful but she assures me it will help avoid possible joint issues as I age. I'm willing to take my chances since the stuff tastes so bad, and if I have insurance then she doesn't have to worry, right? Pierre LeChat

Dear Pierre: 

WAIT!  It is apparent to me that your owner has become way too uppity.  Owner? What's with that.  She's your slave Pierre...and don't let her forget it.  At best they should be considered staff.  You may not have seen my recent study on astronomy wherein I reported that the recently repaired Hubble telescope has confirmed that the earth revolves around the sun and the sun revolves around the cat.  YOU are the center of the universe. Keep repeating it to yourself.  

Now WEIGHT!  I'm a Maine Coon too and I don't think 18.5 pounds is too heavy particularly if it's all muscle.  Can your human feel your ribs when she's giving your nightly (and daily) tummy rub?

Although your staff no doubt has your best interests at heart (and clearly loves you and wants you to stay well) I have to say that cod liver oil stuff sounds disgusting. Life is too short not to enjoy your food.  Can't she give you something in pill form or shoot the liquid down your throat when your not expecting it?  Can you manage to dump that cod liver gunk into her food "by accident"?  She might reconsider if she had to taste it.   A brief hunger strike could also be effective. 

As to the issue of insurance I'm gonna say NO.  Haven't you hear the insurance companies are apparently super evil geniuses?  That AIG place along with the banks apparently brought down the world's economy and somehow convinced everyone to give them billions in reward.  I have no confidence the insurance wouldn't go out of business or that it would pay when you need it to.  

Besides there's a comet that'll end the world in 2012 so why worry.

Confucius Cat say: Live for today and enjoy... and get that staff back under control.  You're giving the staff that serves the rest of ideas above their station.

Classic Movie Quotes

The cat is the center of the universe. In keeping with this truth, last Sunday’s blog included the following quote:  “Catness is never having to say you’re sorry.” This comes of course from the famous movie, Cat Story.

This posting garnered much acclaim. Popular demand (Okay I admit it was one reader suggestion), requires a further walk down the memory lane of cat movie quotations.

Who could forget the following:

"They may take our lives, but they can never take out cats!" - Bravecats.

"The first rule of fight club is...bring a cute kitty." - Cat Fight Club.

“Lord Voldecat is back.” - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Cat.

“No, Mr. Bond. I expect to you to ... find my cat." - Blofeld in Goldcat

"Of all the gin joints, in all the world...that cat had to walk into mine." Catablanca. 

"Life is like a box of litter...you never know how many clumps you'll get." - Forrest Cat.

"You had me at meow."- Jerry McCat.

"I had the time of my life, and I owe it all...to the cat." Johnny in Cat Dancing.

"Nobody puts the kitty in the corner." Johnny in Cat Dancing.

"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse...I'll offer him the cat." Brando in the Catfather

"I'll be back...after I find the cat." Arnold in Termicater

"The cat? You can't handle the cat!" Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Cats

"Frankly, my dear...I don't give a damn that we'll always have Paris. Where's my cat?" - Gone with the Cat.

But by far greatest number of quotes come from the groundbreaking Sci Fi classic, Cat Wars: 

 
"These are not the cats you're looking for." 

"Go with the cats, Luke."

And the most famous:
"Luke...I am your cat." 

If I’ve forgotten any of your favorites I hope you’ll post them as a comment.  Until then: May the cats be with you.

History Worships the Cat

It has come to my attention in studying history that the Egyptians worshipped the cat...and why wouldn't ya? In fact, black cats-like me- were considered good luck. BAST was an Egyptian goddess and many courted the favor of the goddess by procuring black cats for their household. Egyptians apparently believed that the BAST would become part of that cat in spirit and therefore their household would prosper. Coooool.  Egyptians even mummified cats.  Mummy cats?  Now that's going a bit too far.

There are other examples of cats well loved in history. For example Sir Isaac Newton so loved his cat-a cat with an incessant desire to be let in and out-that the scientist invented the cat flap door. 

A medieval King of Wales, Hywel Dda (meaning 'the good') passed legislation making it illegal to kill or harm a cat. Gotta love a King like that.

Marie Antoinette loved her Angora cats so much that 6 were bundled onto a ship and sent to Maine in the United States. Marie wasn't so lucky. Not too long after, she was beheaded in the French Revolution. According to legend her Angoras mated with local cats and created the beautiful Main Coon breed of cat- of which I am an illustriously gorgeous member.

Charles I, King of England in the 1600s, owned a black cat he loved. When the cat died Charles is quoted as saying "Alas my luck is gone." The next day he was arrested and charged with treason. He was later beheaded.

Hmmmm. Two rulers beheaded after their cats left them.  I better warn my mummy. I've got some extensive leverage to bargain for extra cat treats.  

Anyway, the cat is a special creature who deserves-if not worship- to be treated with respect, love and care. I think everyone reading this post would fit into the category of person who already treats their cats and other furry souls with kindness (if not worship)...but I bet all of you know of those who don't.  Those bad people better watch out.  If history is anything to go by, they got a serious beat down coming down the Karma pipeline.

Confucius Cat say: walk like an Egyptian...at least when it comes to treating cats with the respect they deserve.